Posted 8:15 PM by Andrew Faehnle
This is Torture

Speaking of isolation:

I STILL DON'T HAVE A FUCKING KEY TO MY CLASSROOM! In my room: various chemicals some of which have safety ratings of 3 (of 4, higher being more dangerous), 27 iBooks, tons of teaching supplies, lots of chemistry equipment. And three cabinets that won't open.

You know those shitty little keys that lock up desk drawers and file cabinets? They are the bane of every teacher's existence, because at the end of each year, no one fucking remembers to turn in those goddam tiny keys. Which would be okay if teachers weren't so fucking overzealous about seniority. When a veteran teacher retires, the remaining teachers will pounce on anything they can get: physical plant, furniture, supplies, parking spots, you name it.

But no one wants to move a desk. Because every room has one. And the veteran teacher never turned in that shitty litte tiny key.

Hence, my problem: three cabinets worth of who-knows-what? in my classroom. And most importantly, I can use the storage space. And since, despite this being my fourth week of work this academic year, I STILL DON'T HAVE A FUCKING KEY TO MY CLASSROOM (see above), I seriously began to doubt I'd ever see the inside of these cabinets unless I made it my mission to.

Ingredients:

-Hammer
-Elbow Grease
-Liberal sprinkling of curse words

Mix. Results vill vary.

Behind door number one: lots of mouse poop and about three reams of ancient 11"x14" construction paper that had been chewed half to dust by Trevor. (The mouse who lives in my room.)

Door number two: dust and 4 cans of rust-oleum rustproofing spraypaint.

Door number three: a 16-mm film projector and several reels of educational films, including:

-Africa: An Introduction
-Plankton: Life in the Sea
-St. Louis Blues
-"The Eagle Has Landed" The Apollo 11 Story [in color!]

Of course I was incredibly eager to see if the projector worked. [It does.] A couple students were in my room for detention while I was finishing my exploration of the projector, and an idea was born: educational films of the 1950s and 1950s during detention. And a quiz afterword, to see if you were paying attention.

During today's screening of "Plankton: Life in the Sea," W.T. remarked, "Mister Faehnle, I am never gonna talk back in class again. This is torture!"

One point for the teachers.