Posted 12:51 PM by Andrew Faehnle
Sex and Nalgene

So, my project of the moment is meeting a girl who is cute and smart and cool, because, well, I'm ready for some kind of more serious dating or maybe even a relationship, instead of all of this freewheeling dating I've been doing up until recently. I've very recently met this girl who is cool and who I like, but I get lots of mixed signals from her, so I don't know what's up. It's very frustrating, because I like her, and would be willing to invest some time to see where things go, but I don't know.

I suppose, considering what I know about positive attractors and network theory, that I ought to explore it for all it's worth, because doing so will indicate more interest, which would (presumably) reinforce the interest she has (at times) shown, which would make me show more interest, etc. But people aren't predictable the way that quantum particles are. And she has read Viva from time to time, so how will that affect the feedback loop? I don't know.

At the same time, I don't want to show overinterest. Nothing implies desperation like overbearingness. And no one likes desperation.

So, back to my project: I have started carrying my nalgene bottle most times when I go out. What does that say about a person? They they're "crunchy?" That they want to exude preparedness? That they don't like paying for water? Clearly, the nalgene bottle isn't the core of the issue. Anyone can see that it's all about what's inside. More directly, since people will unquestionably size you up based on your appearance, which in my case approximately = clothes + small-ish courier bag + headphones/iPod + nalgene bottle, will people judge based on whats in the bottle?

If I have no water in my bottle, what conclusions can be drawn? That I'm heading home? That my adventures are over? That it's a done deal?

What about full: I'm heading out into the world. Does it connote a sense of naivete?

What is the optimal water level for meeting someone? Leave the bottle at the halfway mark and let the other person decide if it's half-full or half-empty? Use the nalgene as a psychological metric for the people you meet? Or do you go for adventure, and go maybe 25% full, like you're right at the point of the climax in the movie, and that, asuuredly, anyone who joins you on your adventures will have an exciting, if not explosive, time? Or do you play it cautious, go somewhere between the full anf half-full mark? You're already warmed up, in the thick of your adventures, but you have enough water to share, and you can last for a while?

Maybe, in an attempt to convey resourcefulness, covering the bottle in duct tape is the best answer. You can always say it's easier to get a good grip. Or would that be, "ribbed, for her pleasure?"